Gum under bus seat, graffiti on bus stop poster ads. Taxi waiting for you. You waiting for a taxi. Rumors ugly. News incomplete.
Sweet aromas from bakeries, popcorn, and fast food frying
grease. You leave a year ago to work at home leaving the warmth and swelling cold, empty, and whole.
Clouded, foggy, bright flashes of constant memories afloat. New and old goals unload all for a paycheck stronghold. You let go of a great city unfold. Blasts of hidden love revealed and retold.
Darkness brightens and you can see the yellow brick road. Prayer lit the hearts way.
Sunny day at work. Ankles don't ache. My hair is growing back. Finger nails are even.
The sun is out. The spring break is pushing flowers bright.
My knees are at ease. Knuckled are meaty for a peace treaty.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Psalms 23: As I walk through darkness I will fear no evil.
Darkenssdelusions
dissipation, drunkness,
have mercy for me LORD, I am faint. My soul in deep anguish. How long LORD?
I'm worn out by growning, and all night long tears drench m bed.
foes LORD will tear me apart like lions. Arise in your anger against my enemies. As you sit enthroned on high vindicate me most high.
God is a righteoud judge who displays his wrath everyday. Preparing his deadly weapons. Evil fall in there own dug pits. Violence comes down on their own heads. Sing praises to the LORD most high.
Psalm 3-8 verses above
Psalms 9
You have upheld my right and my cause destroying the wicked, uprooted cities and memory of them.
Those who know your name trust in you. he does not ignore the cries of the afflicted.
Declare joyess you .
the wicked nations go down. the needy and the hope of afflicted will not be forgotten. LORD let the nations know they are onlymortal.
Boasts of schemes, greedy.
His ways are always prosperous sneering at all his enemies sayaing nothing will ever shake me. He lies and waits to catch his victims crushing them. Arise Lord do not forget the helpless. You God see this trouble consider their grief. Break the arm of the wicked man.
The Lord is king forever and ever defending the oppressed and fatherless so mere earthly mortals will not strike ever again. psalms10
dissipation, drunkness,
have mercy for me LORD, I am faint. My soul in deep anguish. How long LORD?
I'm worn out by growning, and all night long tears drench m bed.
foes LORD will tear me apart like lions. Arise in your anger against my enemies. As you sit enthroned on high vindicate me most high.
God is a righteoud judge who displays his wrath everyday. Preparing his deadly weapons. Evil fall in there own dug pits. Violence comes down on their own heads. Sing praises to the LORD most high.
Psalm 3-8 verses above
Psalms 9
You have upheld my right and my cause destroying the wicked, uprooted cities and memory of them.
Those who know your name trust in you. he does not ignore the cries of the afflicted.
Declare joyess you .
the wicked nations go down. the needy and the hope of afflicted will not be forgotten. LORD let the nations know they are onlymortal.
Boasts of schemes, greedy.
His ways are always prosperous sneering at all his enemies sayaing nothing will ever shake me. He lies and waits to catch his victims crushing them. Arise Lord do not forget the helpless. You God see this trouble consider their grief. Break the arm of the wicked man.
The Lord is king forever and ever defending the oppressed and fatherless so mere earthly mortals will not strike ever again. psalms10
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Have you heard of the perseverance of JOB?
Job : Gods humble servant
A Puzzle Piece of a Play in One Scene
and Three Acts
By
Katherine Reyna
Copyright
Katherine Reyna
9213 Southmoor Ave.
Highland IN 46322
219-743-2735
“CHARACTERS”
Eliphaz The Temanite
Bildad The
Shuhite
Zophar The
Naamathite
Elihu Son of
Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram whose wrath was aroused against Job because he justified
himself rather than God.
Elihu
My friend wait for the Lord to justify you. What can you be certain about in your
life? Only the LORD. Wait for His reply.
Job
My God! My God! Do not dely!
Blessed are those who regard the weak counted blessed among the land and
not given over the their foes. Have
mercy on me Lord, heal me as those among the weak in their bed! Ps 41
Because of my integrity you uphold me,,praise be to the LORD
from everlasting to everlasting amen and amen.
My tears have been my food, all of you say where is your
God. Why my soul so disturbed within me?
My soul is downcast within me. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your
waterfalls, all your waves an breakers…ps42
Why must I go about mourning oppressed by your enemy. Friends all day long ask where is your
God! Oh why my soul are you downcast?
Ps42
Rescue me, my stronghold, why have you rejected me, why must
I go about mourning, save me bring me to the holy mt to where I will praise my
God. Why my soul are you down cast? Why so disturbed within me? I will praise Him my savior and my God. Ps43
Job There
was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was blameless and
upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil. And seven sons and three daughters were born
to him. JOB 1:1
1.
Scene 1
Act 1
Chaldeans and Sabeans
take away Jobs oxen and donkeys.
Then killed the servants with the edge of the sword. Then the Chaldeans formed three bands, raided
the camels and took them away. This
happened on three different accounts.
Then Jobs sons and daughters were killed in a weather disaster.
Job
(Arose then and tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he
fell to the ground and worshipped. )
Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return
there. The Lord gave and the Lord taken
away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
You have made us a byword they shake their heads at us,
taughnts and reproaches from the enemy bent on revenge! You crushed us,
covering us over in deep darkness. Yet
for you sake me face death all day long, wake LORD, why do you hide your face,
our bodies cling to the ground, rescue us from the dirt, PS44
My children, forgive me.
My wife, my family, my God how shall I covet all that you command?
Black out
2.
Scene 1
Act 2
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity
that had come upon him, each one came from his own place. They had made an appointment to come together
to come mourn with him and to comfort him.
And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him,
each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven
days and seven nights and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his
grief was very great.
Job
(Scratching painful
boils on his skin from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head, and he
took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the
midst of the ashes)
May the day perish on which I was born, and the night in
which it was said, a male child is conceived.
The Almighty is my refuge! I will extol, glory, and exalt
and rejoice on the LORD. He delivered me from all my fears, and the angel of
the LORD delivers those who fear the LORD.
Those who fear Him lack nothing. Ps34
Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. Those who do evil will be blotted out from
all the earth. Many troubles but the
Lord delivers the righteous from them all!
No one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned! Ps35
Eliphaz
If one attempts a word with you will you become weary? But who can withhold himself from speaking?
Surely you have instructed many, and you have strengthened weak hands. You words have upheld him who was stumbling,
and you have strengthened the feeble knees;
but now it comes upon you, and you are weary; it touches you, and you
are troubled.
Job
Oh, that my grief were fully weighed, and my calamity laid
with it on the scales!
Lord…your arrows have pierced me, my guilt had overwhelmed
me to heavy, wounds fester, because of my sinful folly, I’m brought low, no
health in my feeble crushed body. All my
sighing is unhidden, heart pounds, strength fails me, all avoid me because of
my wounds, evil set and sceme an lie of me. Your hand has come down upon me. Your wrath.
All day mong I go about mourning, my back has seering pain. My anguish my longings go about you all
day. The light has gone from my
eyes! Those who want me dead set their
traps. Those who wan to harm me. I wait for you lord my God, you will answer
for I said I am about to fall. Many hav
become my enemy without cause, lodging accusations against me. Come! Come quickly! Ps38
I’ve become as one with no reply or cannot hear. LORD my pain is ever with me, I confess my
iniquity. Many are my enemies without
cause, lodge accusations against me, LORd donot forske me my savior my LORD PS
38
I said I will watch my ways and keep my words from sin. PS38
Bildad
How long will you speak these things and the words of your
mouth be like a strong wind?
Get a grip, do not fret, the evil will die away, trust in
the LORd and do good, dwell in the land, take delight, trust and commit your
way in Him and he will make your vindication shine like a new days sun. Be still, trust, turn from wrath, do not fret
it leads to evil, hope in the LORD, and the meek will enjoy the land, while the
wicked will knish their teeth, draw sword, bend bow and their swords will be
broken. The power of the wicked will be
broken. The blameless spend their days
under the LORDS care. Days of famine
they will enjoy plenty. The wicked will
borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give gernerously.
I was young and now old, yet I’ve never seen the rightouse
forsaken or the children begging. Turn from evil and do good. The LORD loves the just, the offspring of the
wicked will perish, the righteous toungue speaks what is just, the wicked lie
and wait for the rightoues but the LORD will not let them, and the wicked will
be dtroyed and you will see it, the flourishing tree found no more when seeked. There will be no future for the wicked. Salvation is the stronghold, helping them,
delivering in those who take refuge in Him. Psalm 37
Black Out
6.
Scene 1
Act 3a.
Job
I know that Thou canst do all things, and that no purpose of Thine can be
thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel
without knowledge? Therefore I have
declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I
did not know. Here, now, and I will
speak; I will ask Thee, and do Thou instruct me. I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the
ear; But now my eye sees Thee; Therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and
ashes.
God Restores Job’s Fortunes
Jobs
brothers and sisters all who known him before came to him, and they ate bread
with him in his house; and they consoled him and comforted him for all the evil
that the Lord had brought on him. And
each one gave him one piece of money, and each a ring of gold. And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job
more than his beginning, and he had 14,000 sheep, and 6,000 camels, and 1,000
yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys.
And he had seven sons and three daughters.
.jpg)
The END
Saturday, January 4, 2014
A Dash of Psalms 25 Trust
Releive me and take away all my sins...
Guard my life and rescue me...
May integrity ...because my hope God is in You.
Israel
Ps140 Dash notes...
War stirrers, violent, the arrogant, Lord have set traps for my life, my path..
May burning coals fall on them. May slanderers not be established in the land.
Surely the upright will live in your presence.
Psalms 88 Dash
Comment
Your Word restores me soul.
It makes me whole.
Your wrath and terrors have destroyed me. Ps88
Darkness is my closest friend.Ps88
Note...
I am no longer, engulfed I am in your wrath and all your terrors.
You LORD are the God who saves me, I am without strength as the cut off, as the slain.
Low in the pit I am; making me repulsive, and my eyes dim with grief; hot from strain from tears.
WHY Lord do you reject me and hide your face from me? PS88
May my prayer come before you, turn your ear to my cry.
I am set apart off from your care in your heavy wrath.
Confined and trapped Lord I call to you everyday, raising my hands to you.
In oblivion and darkness I seek you, and cannot find your wonders, and righteous acts.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor...crying all for you.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Anitas Wedding
Barely making it on time through security at the airport, through the thick fog of excitement.y Ignoring the rents, keeping my eyes to myself, nerves a wreckin, bag fees what a fucking rip off. Who could make sense out of making sense out of such a time as this. What a bunch of faithers. Is that a word?
Okay, cooling the cannons, what a bright and hot summer. To be or not to be a part of a wedding. OMG my own bloods wedding. Sorry I meant to say my sisters wedding. Where the heck was I in all this? Her wedding had to be at such a time as this. All the new busyness I was in and if only it were a year earlier I enjoyed last year better. I would have felt more transparent or pleasant. I don't think the combination of what I felt was so busy so to speak mattered in light of m sisters wedding.
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Suddenly last summer was all about her and being the oldest of the two of us, I felt it. The undertow of siblings. Did she need me at all? Was I there for her? Where was she? Did she call for me? Did I leave myself somewhere in the B-triangle? WTF?
.jpg)
to be cont.
There is no way to say the joy of the sun, the night sky, the palm trees sway in the breeze, and the sandy ocean shore flashed brightly. There is a Spanish moon and stars the lit up the ocean.
Her hair shined, her skin glowed, and her dress .....her dress white splashed of ocean foam. The darling women who touched details of her hair and skin came from heaven. Those who set the bachelor ette menu, location, flowery decor, and mood and music were angels from above with wings shimmery as gold.
My little sister all grown up. Her choices flare with brilliant glory. Vegetable and fruit plates colored the dinner rehearsal with island majesty.
Okay, cooling the cannons, what a bright and hot summer. To be or not to be a part of a wedding. OMG my own bloods wedding. Sorry I meant to say my sisters wedding. Where the heck was I in all this? Her wedding had to be at such a time as this. All the new busyness I was in and if only it were a year earlier I enjoyed last year better. I would have felt more transparent or pleasant. I don't think the combination of what I felt was so busy so to speak mattered in light of m sisters wedding.
SO my sisters wedding was b-eautiful. She's too gorgeous for words. Since this moment continues on I am speechless. Much of the impact of her new marriage is a ring of ocean waves on the shore, and angels voices all around. The world faded away. The morning of her wedding day was beyond what I could ever expect. Faith walked through and clouds of white flowers, and quiet moments of majestic whispers swept everyone up into the air of paradise. There was no hours, no hunger,or thirst, not one thought only the purest of love wrapping around us soft as feathers, and warm as the sunlight.
to be cont.
There is no way to say the joy of the sun, the night sky, the palm trees sway in the breeze, and the sandy ocean shore flashed brightly. There is a Spanish moon and stars the lit up the ocean.
Her hair shined, her skin glowed, and her dress .....her dress white splashed of ocean foam. The darling women who touched details of her hair and skin came from heaven. Those who set the bachelor ette menu, location, flowery decor, and mood and music were angels from above with wings shimmery as gold.
My little sister all grown up. Her choices flare with brilliant glory. Vegetable and fruit plates colored the dinner rehearsal with island majesty.
Gym Diaries
Dear Gym D,
There is a large mass of belly fat between me and you as I type that I do nothing about forgetting about my own health as I compare myself to others who are fit and not so fit. Its about you. Its about diligence and dedicatation to a choice and with every bite of food, or work out moderation is key. There are radical extreme measures of excersise and eating that seem to work but in reality it is hard work dedication and diligence that may get us through the changes of what we know, and don't know, and learn on the way.
The smell of buttered toast and eggs in the morning, coffee and the warm sunlight bright in my memory of thousands of thousands of these wonderful blessings I am truly thanful for. Walking in and out of wonderful friends and family homes who sit us down with them to eat and drink all the while watching and waiting for the next yawn from a sugar low or high.
The greatest job Ive had is sitting in a gym for hours watching others and learning to sit still, break through barriers of quitting or never starting the life of fitness and the lifestyle of moderation. Healthy is what I believe in being, and happy. Although sitting on a bike in a cycle class and feeling the feelings of change is awesome, it takes consistant dedication, diligence, and a thousand days of sweat just as those bright sunny mornings growing up to the majestic impact of buttered toast, scrambled eggs, coffee, and jelly.
I mean to say that lifting those cold metal bars can feel cold and unpleasant at first. It is work to get the weights on the bar, get the spotter, and then lift three sets, then do it again for what seems forever, and yet if you wait for the silver lining you will overcome those barriers such as societys no time to work out, and all the discouraging distractions that slow you down such as the ones I use: I'm enjoying the benefits of my work outs and taking a break from the gym and good food for us.
What happens then is the pull of peer pressure sets in and before you know it you become a teacher of gym, rather than a doer of gym. Theres always the discouraging saying that its too late, but its nver to late, you can go back to the gym anytime and jump on that treadmill where you left off and money or work will not mind because its your body that gets you that job and money.
Sluggish tired, or reaping the gym benifits you will go to work and spend your money anyway so do it right and gym time is the right time. I'm at home working out with whatever I can find to lift with resistance whether its a bag of ice from the freezer or a basket of laundry. You can make your own gym. I went to a gym for thirteen years from the age of 21-34, and before in my late teens I used light dumb bells in my room with a fitness magazine as my guide. Pictures of lean svelt women working out all muscle groups lead me to Chicago to see my sisters job as a trainer in a gyms career sykrocket into her own business.
When she and her gym friends landed me a job in their gym, the sky was the limit, beyond that the gym equipment, music, and friends did my work outs for me. I didn't even think twice. All I had to do was breathe. Sometimes I turned the news on above my treanmill, or tried new classes to see what I could do and I was amazed with my muscles, with my body.
Working out is a life long journey into a love relationship with what you know it true about dlilgence, and dedication to something that brings out the best in you. Work schedules, family time, and gym time balance and moderation squeeze out a shit load of beneifts you and your loved ones will reap from.
KR
Dear Gym Diary
Its Jan 27th just a few days shy of another month that no one defines as anything but Valentines Day. F that. Cute it seems to me to think of the days of old when flowers and chocolates were a surprise before I turned 20. Then for me it was the decade of complicated love compromised. Woe is me. So at the end of my twenties I skipped through a few years of celebrating this holiday in the same way commericals seem to do. I don't want to entertain the thought of candy so I have been munching on celery sticks. Mom has packed baggies of carrots into my lunch bag and this is the one of few times I have made my own lunch for each day of the week. Maybe unhealthy, PBJs. I started a new bench press by lifting a large bench over my head that has my right shoulder in pain through the day since I set the bench down to the right side of my body as it twists to put it on the floor.
This is my updated entry. I don't drink enough water, and I sipped coffee today mostly. I drank two days in a row three electrolyte filled vidawaters drinks. I don't drink reg water because it taste like I'm drinking melted snow and I am nauseated by all the snow I see outside. My room in the basement is cold and even smells like cold snow. This smell is the smell of cold water if you haven't noticed you will maybe now after reading that I think it has a smell.
I sat today on the weight machine and pulled the cables back some for my shoulders. Hint: There is much working out in just prepping to work out. Its very costly if you don't see that putting the body on the machine and adjusting to the resistance of the weight lifting is a work out in itself. Later.
The Chicago winter is unbareable. The car is frozen in the snow, and the streets are to icy to go anywhere. Its Saturday morning and fly yoga starts at 11:ooam. Its already 10:30a how will I ever make it on time. By the time I get to class it will be too late for a parking spot let a lone a spot in the class.
This happens every Saturday and usually the treadmills at the gym are plan B if I'm late for fly yoga. Usually I make it on time though and hop on the treadmill after class for extra cardio kick. Two hours on Saturday morning at the gym in Lakeview, Chicago, IL, I wouldn't have thought of it if I didn't put it down here in my diary. Great memories there at the gym. What great experience with exercise.
As I reflect today at the end of the year on the work outs, locking my keys in my car rushing to get into a class, paying $60-100 bucks to a lock smith the pay off on the health and muscles overcomes the consequences.
Love KAT
Dear Gym Diary
Moving out of the city back home to the region changed everything. Boom. It was a like shutting the volt door of a bank with one of those wheel knobs. Anyway, holding it in, you know the good and the bad mixed gracefully from the city chapter to the suburb chapter. I couldn't understand the difficulty of taking responsiblitiy and making my own choices when it was easiest to blame something or someone else. God that is hard! One word: desolation. Just pitiful. Ten months without a gym. No sweat, no heart rate increase, and no endorphins. So this entry isn't the rant of the new year or anything like that. I don't want to mention that real estate class sorry or the team work I bumped into on the job and in class. What a culture clash from city to suburb.
One word: time machine. Two words: No gym. Its so embarassing to admit with honesty that being home is a course in gravity. I'll talk about that later. Bottom line, for over ten months I gave my body a break from five long years of dehydration, malnutrition, and fatigue from you gym and you don't know what you have until its gone. Its sad but true. I was living the motto of no pain no gain at the gym, and burned out maybe probably. I chomped on protein bars, agulped those protein milks, and my body was humming happy tunes.
None of this had nothing to do with change, moving, or environment. Out of mind out of sight. I wish it was that. I went from 1-2 hours a day at the gym to fifteen minutes a day putting on a few pounds and not caring. I ate what I wanted, and overate too. Then I picked up smoking, and dragged myself across the race track for a few laps a week. I gotta break it to you, the suburbs suck. At least in the city theres 10-20 runners, bikers, or walkers every approx. five min outside rain or shine 24/7.
Hell, I seen a young femail jogger in the city once at 4am when I was driving to an early morning workout at the gym. Please God no more kidnappings at any time of the day or muggings!
Only God knows where opinions come from and what to do with them. How easy it would be to save my life and get a new gym membership in the burbs if only I could get moving on that. Months have gone by already and I've only picked up a jump rope for a lousy fifteen minutes a day in the basement. The cigarettes remind me of being social, and the little pot belly I have has helped me gain a sugar habit of awesome sweet treats.
The new change could be because of the year of desolation I call it. I stayed inside reading Real Estate 101 cover to cover twice and couldn't pass that class. How did I pass the travel agent test ten years ago and bar tending test, and couldn't pass the Real Estate test? Never give up and jump in where your at my friends. Anyway, I'm so disgusted right now I will write you later. Its the second day of the new year and what a blur, not to mention this bleepin blizzard whose name should be Grace rather than the name in the news they gave her. Grace for keeping me inside to hide my face, Grace for keeping me off the road and spending money I don't need to spend.
Love Kat
Jan 20
Dear diary
I haven't eaten large amounts of anything but moderation I thought I could go without physical excerise and rely on natural movement as enough and maybe Im right. From five years of gym work, I can pick up a bench at home and safely use it as a careful lifting press for muscles. Stronger I feel today by the use of the jump rope I pulled out from storage. I don't work up a sweat or wait until pain of muscle.
Before I assume a couple minutes feels as a million years, I push to hold on to the pose I hold that requires my stomach muscles to hold me up.
KAT
Dear diary of gym,
Plum. Sweat. The separation from gym is challenge. No body around who works out cares to get healthy. Including me I'm not into the gym without gym presence.
Disgust of this reverse gym mood. I'm so disgusted with myself. There's nothing else to do. Errands and movie shows blah. All the sitting. Blah. Working out from 2-4 hours a week to natural activities put me in the books.
Dear Gym
Your one of a kind never leaving and waiting there for me. Heart breaking out of sight news of jump rope blues. Gym we sweat together and bled through it all. Body and all shaped and tamed by your call.
I went in my own pace leaving at my own pace and marked by your gym heart there's no down only up, gone is the hardest part.
I thought and gym taught bringing out my pleas for ease to body need realities. Thank you God for gym time from the bed and dress to the bench press.
My heart soars today, mind humming a great fuel tuned to happy muscle friends worthy.
Thank you
KR
Dear Gym
Its beenore than a yr. I love cooking in olive oil. Butter loto butter. Ten min on bike feels a hundred years longer at each second that passes. Its a second more away from diabetes. Heart disease.
I miss you. I quit drinking for you. The impact you put on me has me in bed early. Ice cream daily is my hobby and cigarettes.
I remember you well. Nothing can separate us and what you've done for my health. My resume and the unknowns fears.
The people there are family. The mirrors are my best friends. The music in you gym is my heart. The seconds and weeks on my home bike change everything. Goodbye to years of vodka on the rock concoctions. Goodbye to years of cheap wine filled to the rim. The fitness world has changed my life.
See you soon
KR
There is a large mass of belly fat between me and you as I type that I do nothing about forgetting about my own health as I compare myself to others who are fit and not so fit. Its about you. Its about diligence and dedicatation to a choice and with every bite of food, or work out moderation is key. There are radical extreme measures of excersise and eating that seem to work but in reality it is hard work dedication and diligence that may get us through the changes of what we know, and don't know, and learn on the way.
The smell of buttered toast and eggs in the morning, coffee and the warm sunlight bright in my memory of thousands of thousands of these wonderful blessings I am truly thanful for. Walking in and out of wonderful friends and family homes who sit us down with them to eat and drink all the while watching and waiting for the next yawn from a sugar low or high.
The greatest job Ive had is sitting in a gym for hours watching others and learning to sit still, break through barriers of quitting or never starting the life of fitness and the lifestyle of moderation. Healthy is what I believe in being, and happy. Although sitting on a bike in a cycle class and feeling the feelings of change is awesome, it takes consistant dedication, diligence, and a thousand days of sweat just as those bright sunny mornings growing up to the majestic impact of buttered toast, scrambled eggs, coffee, and jelly.
I mean to say that lifting those cold metal bars can feel cold and unpleasant at first. It is work to get the weights on the bar, get the spotter, and then lift three sets, then do it again for what seems forever, and yet if you wait for the silver lining you will overcome those barriers such as societys no time to work out, and all the discouraging distractions that slow you down such as the ones I use: I'm enjoying the benefits of my work outs and taking a break from the gym and good food for us.
What happens then is the pull of peer pressure sets in and before you know it you become a teacher of gym, rather than a doer of gym. Theres always the discouraging saying that its too late, but its nver to late, you can go back to the gym anytime and jump on that treadmill where you left off and money or work will not mind because its your body that gets you that job and money.
Sluggish tired, or reaping the gym benifits you will go to work and spend your money anyway so do it right and gym time is the right time. I'm at home working out with whatever I can find to lift with resistance whether its a bag of ice from the freezer or a basket of laundry. You can make your own gym. I went to a gym for thirteen years from the age of 21-34, and before in my late teens I used light dumb bells in my room with a fitness magazine as my guide. Pictures of lean svelt women working out all muscle groups lead me to Chicago to see my sisters job as a trainer in a gyms career sykrocket into her own business.
When she and her gym friends landed me a job in their gym, the sky was the limit, beyond that the gym equipment, music, and friends did my work outs for me. I didn't even think twice. All I had to do was breathe. Sometimes I turned the news on above my treanmill, or tried new classes to see what I could do and I was amazed with my muscles, with my body.
Working out is a life long journey into a love relationship with what you know it true about dlilgence, and dedication to something that brings out the best in you. Work schedules, family time, and gym time balance and moderation squeeze out a shit load of beneifts you and your loved ones will reap from.
KR
Dear Gym Diary
Its Jan 27th just a few days shy of another month that no one defines as anything but Valentines Day. F that. Cute it seems to me to think of the days of old when flowers and chocolates were a surprise before I turned 20. Then for me it was the decade of complicated love compromised. Woe is me. So at the end of my twenties I skipped through a few years of celebrating this holiday in the same way commericals seem to do. I don't want to entertain the thought of candy so I have been munching on celery sticks. Mom has packed baggies of carrots into my lunch bag and this is the one of few times I have made my own lunch for each day of the week. Maybe unhealthy, PBJs. I started a new bench press by lifting a large bench over my head that has my right shoulder in pain through the day since I set the bench down to the right side of my body as it twists to put it on the floor.
This is my updated entry. I don't drink enough water, and I sipped coffee today mostly. I drank two days in a row three electrolyte filled vidawaters drinks. I don't drink reg water because it taste like I'm drinking melted snow and I am nauseated by all the snow I see outside. My room in the basement is cold and even smells like cold snow. This smell is the smell of cold water if you haven't noticed you will maybe now after reading that I think it has a smell.
I sat today on the weight machine and pulled the cables back some for my shoulders. Hint: There is much working out in just prepping to work out. Its very costly if you don't see that putting the body on the machine and adjusting to the resistance of the weight lifting is a work out in itself. Later.
The Chicago winter is unbareable. The car is frozen in the snow, and the streets are to icy to go anywhere. Its Saturday morning and fly yoga starts at 11:ooam. Its already 10:30a how will I ever make it on time. By the time I get to class it will be too late for a parking spot let a lone a spot in the class.
This happens every Saturday and usually the treadmills at the gym are plan B if I'm late for fly yoga. Usually I make it on time though and hop on the treadmill after class for extra cardio kick. Two hours on Saturday morning at the gym in Lakeview, Chicago, IL, I wouldn't have thought of it if I didn't put it down here in my diary. Great memories there at the gym. What great experience with exercise.
As I reflect today at the end of the year on the work outs, locking my keys in my car rushing to get into a class, paying $60-100 bucks to a lock smith the pay off on the health and muscles overcomes the consequences.
Love KAT
Dear Gym Diary
Moving out of the city back home to the region changed everything. Boom. It was a like shutting the volt door of a bank with one of those wheel knobs. Anyway, holding it in, you know the good and the bad mixed gracefully from the city chapter to the suburb chapter. I couldn't understand the difficulty of taking responsiblitiy and making my own choices when it was easiest to blame something or someone else. God that is hard! One word: desolation. Just pitiful. Ten months without a gym. No sweat, no heart rate increase, and no endorphins. So this entry isn't the rant of the new year or anything like that. I don't want to mention that real estate class sorry or the team work I bumped into on the job and in class. What a culture clash from city to suburb.
One word: time machine. Two words: No gym. Its so embarassing to admit with honesty that being home is a course in gravity. I'll talk about that later. Bottom line, for over ten months I gave my body a break from five long years of dehydration, malnutrition, and fatigue from you gym and you don't know what you have until its gone. Its sad but true. I was living the motto of no pain no gain at the gym, and burned out maybe probably. I chomped on protein bars, agulped those protein milks, and my body was humming happy tunes.
None of this had nothing to do with change, moving, or environment. Out of mind out of sight. I wish it was that. I went from 1-2 hours a day at the gym to fifteen minutes a day putting on a few pounds and not caring. I ate what I wanted, and overate too. Then I picked up smoking, and dragged myself across the race track for a few laps a week. I gotta break it to you, the suburbs suck. At least in the city theres 10-20 runners, bikers, or walkers every approx. five min outside rain or shine 24/7.
Hell, I seen a young femail jogger in the city once at 4am when I was driving to an early morning workout at the gym. Please God no more kidnappings at any time of the day or muggings!
Only God knows where opinions come from and what to do with them. How easy it would be to save my life and get a new gym membership in the burbs if only I could get moving on that. Months have gone by already and I've only picked up a jump rope for a lousy fifteen minutes a day in the basement. The cigarettes remind me of being social, and the little pot belly I have has helped me gain a sugar habit of awesome sweet treats.
The new change could be because of the year of desolation I call it. I stayed inside reading Real Estate 101 cover to cover twice and couldn't pass that class. How did I pass the travel agent test ten years ago and bar tending test, and couldn't pass the Real Estate test? Never give up and jump in where your at my friends. Anyway, I'm so disgusted right now I will write you later. Its the second day of the new year and what a blur, not to mention this bleepin blizzard whose name should be Grace rather than the name in the news they gave her. Grace for keeping me inside to hide my face, Grace for keeping me off the road and spending money I don't need to spend.
Dear Gym
Its been so long since we've seen each other. I have nothing to hide nor do I anything to brag about. In fact I am not proud of my weaknesses of fast food french fries or sweet breads. Worse yet the vanity that engulfs me from the serious needs to excersise. Slowly with age and weight gain I cannot be without your help. Lord come rescue and deliver me from my foes. There is no comfort or sympathy. In fast they offer me the worst of foods an actvities of great amounts of sedentary choices in which I'm accustomed.
I'm on all sides attacked by the life style of moderate to no excersise and malnutrition from my irresponsibility. God knows when I'll take more action from this small point my day. I was doing sit ups and new ab holds, crunhes, upper arm stuff at home. jump roping and yoga too. Its not the same without you.
Love KR
Love Kat
Jan 20
Dear diary
I haven't eaten large amounts of anything but moderation I thought I could go without physical excerise and rely on natural movement as enough and maybe Im right. From five years of gym work, I can pick up a bench at home and safely use it as a careful lifting press for muscles. Stronger I feel today by the use of the jump rope I pulled out from storage. I don't work up a sweat or wait until pain of muscle.
Before I assume a couple minutes feels as a million years, I push to hold on to the pose I hold that requires my stomach muscles to hold me up.
KAT
Dear diary of gym,
Plum. Sweat. The separation from gym is challenge. No body around who works out cares to get healthy. Including me I'm not into the gym without gym presence.
Disgust of this reverse gym mood. I'm so disgusted with myself. There's nothing else to do. Errands and movie shows blah. All the sitting. Blah. Working out from 2-4 hours a week to natural activities put me in the books.
Dear Gym
Your one of a kind never leaving and waiting there for me. Heart breaking out of sight news of jump rope blues. Gym we sweat together and bled through it all. Body and all shaped and tamed by your call.
I went in my own pace leaving at my own pace and marked by your gym heart there's no down only up, gone is the hardest part.
I thought and gym taught bringing out my pleas for ease to body need realities. Thank you God for gym time from the bed and dress to the bench press.
My heart soars today, mind humming a great fuel tuned to happy muscle friends worthy.
Thank you
KR
Dear Gym
Its beenore than a yr. I love cooking in olive oil. Butter loto butter. Ten min on bike feels a hundred years longer at each second that passes. Its a second more away from diabetes. Heart disease.
I miss you. I quit drinking for you. The impact you put on me has me in bed early. Ice cream daily is my hobby and cigarettes.
I remember you well. Nothing can separate us and what you've done for my health. My resume and the unknowns fears.
The people there are family. The mirrors are my best friends. The music in you gym is my heart. The seconds and weeks on my home bike change everything. Goodbye to years of vodka on the rock concoctions. Goodbye to years of cheap wine filled to the rim. The fitness world has changed my life.
See you soon
KR
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